We grew up watching TV soap operas and loved all the scandals and sordid love affairs. Ok, think about it, name one TV show that doesn't have someone cheating on their partner ... you can't can you? Let's give you an example of some crazy infidelities in one of the most revered soapies of all time, and it's all by one person! J.R Ewing from the original Dallas TV series was the cheating king:
1960s: JR had brief affairs with Lee Ann Nelson, who subsequently
had an abortion, and Vanessa Beaumont, who later gave birth to son James.
1967: Met the woman who would later become his wife, Sue Ellen Shepherd, and
began a ten year affair with Ewing Oil secretary Julie Grey.
1971: Married Sue Ellen.
1978: Had a one night stand with bored housewife, Wanda Frick, and a two
night stand with country & western singer Garnett McGee.
1979: After becoming the father of John Ross Ewing III, he started a year
long affair with Kristin Shepherd, his wife’s sister.
1980: Began employing the services of prostitute Serena Wald (an arrangement
which continued on and off for the next ten years), and got shot by Kristin,
before recovering sufficiently to bed shipping magnate Sally Bullock and
secretary Louella Lee.
1981: Enjoyed brief affairs with Afton Cooper (his niece’s bridesmaid) and
Leslie Stewart (his public relations adviser). Divorced.
1982: Had a brief fling with oil baroness Marilee Stone. Remarried his ex
1983: Blackmailed business partner Holly Harwood into performing sexual
1984: Blackmailed his brother’s ex-sister-in-law Katherine Wentworth into
performing sexual favours.
1985/6: Fell in love and bedded model Mandy Winger.
1987: Had a brief fling with April Stevens (his cousin’s ex-wife) and began
a year long affair with Kimberly Cryder (the wife of the head of West Star
1988: Blackmailed bonsai expert Laurel Ellis into performing sexual favours.
Immediately following his second divorce from Sue Ellen, JR married Cally
Harper at gun point after being accused of raping her.
1989: Cheated on Cally with Diana Farrington, member of a Blue Ribbon
committee investigating Ewing Oil.
1990: Had sex with a psychotic mental patient called Anita, and a brief
fling with Rose Mackay (the wife of the latest head of West Star Oil).
Divorced by Cally.
1991: After a brief engagement to Vanessa Beaumont, JR enjoyed one night
stands with Carmen Esperanza (the sister-in-law of Lee Ann De La
Vega-nee-Nelson) and Sly Lovegren, his secretary of nine years.
Mid nineties: Began an ongoing affair with attorney Anita Smithfield.
1996: Enjoyed a reconciliation, of sorts, with ex wife Sue Ellen.
(courtesy of ultimatedallas.com)
Whoa! How did he keep it up ... no pun intended? So is life just like the TV shows? More than 25% of marriages end in divorce, and while I'm not saying it's solely caused from affairs (they are just the outcome of the situation that's not being addressed), if we take a cue from TV, no wonder people are divorcing! But how do we define cheating?
As Esther Perel reflects about her book Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, 'People cheat on each other in a hundred different ways: indifference, emotional neglect, contempt, lack of respect, years of refusal of intimacy. Sexual cheating doesn’t begin to describe the ways that people let each other down'.
So whether you're partner has just been caught cheating and you need to find a way past it, or you've moved on already and trying to put it all behind you, make sure you go and chat to a professional so you can deal with it properly. Otherwise you might be found pulling the heads off your kids barbie dolls and melting them in a saucepan full of hot oil, which might feel good at the time but doesn't really solve the issue!