If communication with your co-parent up to this point has been full of negative rants, blame, demands, anger, sarcasm, or belittling (need I go on?), it’s sometimes very hard to move forward positively. The best thing you could do is ask for a communication truce. 

Here are a few suggestions to message your co-parent depending on the current state of communication. We've used Tom and Nicole as the parents and Sam and Pam as the children in our examples: 

If communication is really negative

‘Hi Tom,
I am asking for a communication truce.

We need to find a way to share details about the kids without getting personal and without negative emotion or blame – for their sake.

We don’t have to like each other, we just have to respect that we are both parents to Sam and Pam and we have been given the responsibility to raise them in the most supportive and positive way possible. We have 12 years ahead of us until they're out of college, so we may as well find the best way to communicate moving forward.

I’m asking if we could leave our past relationship out of communications and just focus on the kids.
I’m asking if we could agree to not tell each other how to parent.
I’m asking if we could agree to pass on need-to-know details about the kids with enough lead time.
I’m asking if we could agree to acknowledge receipt of messages received within half a day.
I’m asking if we could respond to requests within 1 day, even if it is to ask for more time to review.
If there is anything you would like to add to this truce, I’d love to hear your suggestions.

I look forward to your reply.

Regards,
Nicole’

If communication is strained

Hi Nicole,
I’m asking for a communication truce.

We need to find a way to share details about the kids in a respectful way, without getting personal. We have 12 years ahead of us until they’re out of college or longer before they’re married, so we may as well find the best way to communicate moving forward.

I’m asking if we could leave our past relationship out of communications and just focus on the kids.
I’m asking if we could agree to not tell each other how to parent.
I’m asking if we could agree to pass on need-to-know details about the kids with enough lead time.
I’m asking if we could agree to acknowledge receipt of messages received within half a day.
I’m asking if we could respond to requests within 1 day, even if it is to ask for more time to review.
If there is anything you would like to add to this truce, I’d love to hear your suggestions.

I look forward to your reply.

Regards,
Tom’

If they don't respond to you, ask a close friend to both of you to help call the truce.

Let us know how you go.

Image courtesy of: https://www.biography.com/news/goldie-hawn-biography-facts