Below is a list of commonly asked questions around using Divvito Messenger. If you don't find the answer you're looking for, contact our support team and they will respond as soon as possible.

Connecting to your Co-Parent


How do I add my co-parent to Divvito Messenger?

Once you’ve signed in to Divvito Messenger, Dani will help you get started. When asked how they can help, select ‘Help Invite’. Dani will provide an invitation code and suggest ways to connect to your co-parent.


Can I connect to more than one co-parent?

Currently not within the one account. This will be a feature in the future. However, you can have multiple accounts if you use different email addresses. You will just have to log out of one account, and log in to the other, to access messages and receive notifications.


What’s an invitation code?

An invitation code is the code that connects you and your co-parent so you can start using Divvito Messenger. Either you’ve received the code from your co-parent or a third-party, or from Dani when you get set up after signing in. Just follow Dani’s instructions to input the invitation code and connect.


I lost my invitation code, how do I get a new one?

Open the app and tap the ‘Dani’ tab, then select ‘Help Invite’ when prompted. Dani will provide you your invitation code again.


Can I use Divvito Messenger on my computer?

Not at this point in time. Divvito Messenger is an app and only available on iOS or Android devices.


Do I need an internet connection to use Divvito Messenger?

Yes, which you can access via your phone's cellular data plan, or via Wi-Fi.


I want to be able to see all of the words my co-parent is sending me. How can I tell Dani to stop blocking swear words? .

If you want Dani to stop blocking profanities, you can disable this feature by opening Preferences menu, selecting the ‘Safety’ tab, and tapping the button next to ‘Block Profanities’.

I don’t want my co-parent contacting me at inappropriate times. how can I stop this from happening?

With the Do Not Disturb feature, you can select when it is appropriate for the app to create notifications, and when it should stay quiet. You can enable this feature in the preferences menu, under the ‘Notifications’ tab. Threatening messages will always trigger a notification, even when the Do Not Disturb feature is enabled.

how do i make Divvito messenger the only messaging app i use with my co-parent?

You can find the ‘Sole Communication’ setting in the ‘Security’ tab of the Preferences menu. After turning it on, your co-parent will be sent a request to only use Divvito Messenger, and the details of the emergency contact you have set up.

How can I make dani flag any other words that i don’t want used?

You can add your own words or phrases that you want Dani to respond to and flag. To add them, go into the preferences menu and select the ‘Safety’ tab, then add the words/phrases in the ‘Personalized Words / Phrases’ panel.

Will Dani still delay a message if my co-parent threatens me?

If your co-parent sends you a threatening message, Dani is programmed to send these messages through immediately and mark them with a small lightning icon. If you are worried that Dani might miss certain threatening words or phrases, you can add your own in the ‘Safety’ tab of the Preferences menu.



My ex still sends inappropriate messages. Why doesn’t Dani stop them?

Dani’s role is to suggest to you and your co-parent to revise a message if they deem it inappropriate, or if it could be misinterpreted. It’s your choice to revise. Dani is still learning what’s not appropriate, so if a message gets through that you think should have been flagged, tap the message and select ‘Flag message as …’. This will help Dani improve a lot quicker.


How does Dani know when messages are negative?

Dani has been programmed with several thousand words and phrases that are deemed inappropriate, and is continually expanding its range to improve communication between you and your co-parent.


How can I see when Dani has flagged my co-parent’s message?

So you can see when Dani has flagged a co-parent’s message, flagged messages are marked with a small Dani icon. If you see Dani’s face, it means that Dani has delayed the message your co-parent sent.


Can my co-parent see when I am typing?

No, but this feature will be released very soon - you will be able to choose whether or not you want your co-parent to see that you are typing.


Can I see when my co-parent has seen a message?

No, but a ‘Send read receipts’ preference will be released very soon, so your co-parent can see when you’ve read their message.


Why are my messages not sending?

You have to access the internet to use Divvito Messenger, so make sure you’re connected to Wi-Fi or your phone's cellular data. If you still can’t send any messages, contact our support team and we will address it ASAP!


My co-parent and I still argue in the app! What gives?

While Dani and Divvito aim to reduce negative communication over time through positive persuasion, it is still reliant on you and your co-parent to implement change. Don’t be too hard on yourself or your co-parent, as it takes time to change behavior when poor communication has been occurring for a while. If you would like some more help, try these communication tips.


How do I delete a conversation?

You can’t delete a conversation at this point in time. This is to ensure there is a permanent record of all communication. In the future, you will be able to archive old conversations.


How do I download my messages?

Tap the cog menu in the top right of the screen, and select ‘Download Messages’. After your free one month trial, you will have to be on a paid subscription in order to download messages.


Where are my downloaded messages saved?

If you’re on an iPhone, when you open the downloaded messages PDF, you will be prompted with various ways to save or share the file.
If you’re on an Android device, after Dani has prepared your messages for download, the file will be saved into your ‘Downloads’ folder.


I’m not receiving notifications anymore. Why?

There could be a few reasons:

  1.   Make sure you are still logged in to the app, as logging out stops notifications being received.

  2.   Ensure notifications are enabled. Go to 'Notifications' in your phone settings to check.

  3.   If notifications are still not being received, contact our support team.



Why haven’t I received a confirmation email yet?

The confirmation email can sometimes take a few minutes to be delivered. Make sure to check your spam or junk mail folders. If still not received, open the app, check your email address is correct and tap ‘Resend Verification’.
If you still don’t receive an email, contact our support team.


I’ve logged out and forgotten my password! How can log back in?

If you signed in with email, select ‘Login with email’ and tap ‘Forgot Password’. You will be prompted to add your email address and we will send you a link to reset your password. If you logged in via Facebook or Google, you will have to reset your password on their platform.


What do subscriptions offer, and how much do they cost?

There are several options to choose from. Head to our Pricing page for further information.


How do I subscribe?

In the app, click the cog menu in the top right corner and select ‘Manage Subscriptions’.


How do I cancel my subscription?

Tap on the cog menu in the top right corner of the app, then ‘Manage Subscriptions’. Tap ‘Manage Subscription’, which will take you to Divvito Messenger in the Google Play or Apple App Stores, where you can cancel your subscription.


Why should I use Facebook or Google to sign up to Divvito Messenger?

If you sign up using your Facebook or Google account, your password is protected when shared with us. Apart from the email connected to your account, no other information is shared between companies.
You also have the choice to sign up to Divvito Messenger directly. Always use a password that is not easy to guess. The best way to protect your security is to think of a phrase, for example, "Ilovelife", but swap out some letters for numbers or symbols, so you end up with "1Lovelif3".



Is Dani a person reading my messages?

No, Dani is a messaging bot that has been programmed to assist with effective communication.


Can anybody else access what I’ve shared with Dani?

Dani does not share what you tell them with anyone else. It’s just between you and Dani. In the event your messages are subpoenaed, we have a responsibility to share your name, email address and messages between you and your co-parent.


How long does Dani delay messages?

It varies, depending on the inappropriateness of the message flagged.


Can I change how long Dani delays messages?

The easiest way to reduce the delay is not to say anything that could be taken as being rude, blaming, slurs, belittling, passive aggressive, or threats. The aim of the delay is to give you time to reconsider your communication. Remember, it’s all about the kids!


Can I turn Dani off?

Dani is there to be the neutral referee between you and your co-parent to keep communication on track and positive, so no, you can’t get rid of Dani. If you don’t want Dani to flag your communication, stick to the free Basic version of Divvito Messenger. Dani will be a bit sad, but they know they can’t help everybody!


Dani is behaving strangely, how do I fix them?

When talking to Dani, type ‘reset’, and that should fix them. If Dani is still behaving strangely, contact our support team and let us know what’s happening.


Dani suggested a text or email invitation to send my co-parent. How do I send it?

Tap on the message or email template, and Dani will open your phone messages or email and embed the invitation. Alternatively, you can copy the content of Dani’s template by tapping and holding down on the message and paste into the preferred app you wish to use.


Dani delayed a message but I didn’t say anything bad, what gives?

Dani is still learning, and sometimes flags a message that might not be inappropriate in the context of communicating with your co-parent. You can help by copying the message and sharing via ‘Feedback’ in the Dani tab.


Do I have any other option to respond to Dani’s questions other than the prompted responses given?

Absolutely! Just type in a response and send.

General Help


Where can I go if my app is having issues?

They best option is to contact our support team. Make sure to include the issue, what you were doing for it to occur, and the time it occurred. Also include your phone model, version number, and screenshots if possible.